I'm somehwat very pissed right now.... Tho i'm not sure if it's anyone's business but then again, if I started righting wondering if people wanted to read it, then well, guess my blog's no different from one of them popular blogs so what the hey... off i go...

Sometime early this week, I was somewhat down with the whole relationship issue or rather the end of one. Obviously, company would be appreciated. So I had arranged with a friend to meet up whom I haven't quite met up for quite a bit of time. She had wanted tea and what not and at the same time wanted to meet her new bf. I seriously wasn't quite up to meeting anybody new or anything, guy girl much less your significant other whcih you had just gotten. Obviously, seeing your source of happiness ain't the thing I'd very much wanna see now. So she suggested tea somewhere, and well, I wasn't really in the mood for bright places as I wasn't sure if I'd break down, IF antyhing... so I said somewhere where there's alcohol preferale. Any chill out place. She said she wasn't really wanting to drink and I said, it's fine... Order juice or something.. I didn't really care what she drank.

So it was settled on Saturday night that we would meet for what I assumed was a catch up session since I'm also quite interested in what's been going on in her life recently and I do know it's quite a lot. I also checked if it'd impeded any programs she might ahve with her bf but said it was fine, weekends are sorta their 'friend day's anyway.

So anyway, I didn't really msg her anything else about today's outing. I did msg her mid week askin her abt a song she had sent me and complained to her how I seldom see her online so can't really get more songs from her. Sorta grumbling the lack of her presence online. So she says, dun worry, will see her on Sat. Ok.. fine.

Today.. Smsed her from the net askin her about today. She didn't reply. I didn't wanna appear too clingy or what so I just let it go. So just, I gave her call askin her about how tonight's gonna be. She tells me that, oh, her friend would be going around 11.30-12. Well, that threw me off a lil cos I'm wondering, how did an outing of catching just you and me.. end up anything to do with HER friends. I didn't say that of course but she explained that she was using her friend's guest list to get in. Oright.. fine. Seriously, it's showing very bad form on her part as it is and I'm losing my patience in all this. Before she had a bf, she was somewhat cool with this and that, being blah blah.. oh friend this friend that. And now... she fucking pulls such a stunt.

Firstly, I don't appreciate it when I msg and you don't answer. It's fucking rude. Have some decent courtesy. And yes, I may be over reacting but hey, there IS such a thing as basic courtesy. And if this day was meant as a day of consolation for my supposed breakup, put in a lil more effort into it. Else, don't even bother trying if it's gonna be a half fucked effort or anything cos I sure as hell don't crave for it. I'm tired of people holding up this whole 'friendship' trophy, constantly reminding you of the friendship but yet do nothing show for it and much worse, don't honour your word.

I'll still go for tonight, jus to see if my view on a person's insensitivity holds true. That you claim you care but do nothing to show for it. All I need to do is just have a sit with ya and if people pop over and join in, I'm outta there. I don't spending the cover and cab fare just to see what sort of person a friend might actually be. Disgusting. Let us all hope that all I have here are just speculations.

it's the same as someone who's been tellin me about meeting up but never once made an effort to honour our arrangement. Seriously, I'm not needy of meeting up. It's tiring to be the one constantly askin, hey, you free this day or that day. FUCK YOU... I'm not desperate for company or any sort.

You know, what really rails me about all these is not so much people's unwillingness to meet or what. It's the impression they give. Don't promise or say what you don't mean. And if you do, show more sincerity in it rather than giving half fuck effort in doing it. Seriously, if that's the case, then don't bloody fucking bother. I have no need for pity or anything..

KNN... Never so pissed for so long. And to think I turned down a job on Sunday, thinking I might be too beat from the night b4's activity. CCB!! Trying very hard to think about not letting the people who aren't important affect you.. or anyone to affect you at all or what... Sheesh... Fucking pissing. I'm just gonna do my hair or something and just dine, arcade and see how it fucking goes. Let's hope that I'm wrong in all this and that the arrangement is such that she doesn't need to pay.

Knn, let me know if there's any changes indeed. Since when did the night become all about her. FUCK man...