THE QUESTION ON OUR NATURE, HUMANITY OR WHATEVER IT IS


It is often said that we all have a choice in our lives. True, events that happen, most of the time, we have no control over. But what sets us apart from each other is how we react and choose to do when faced with it.

If so, why is it that some of us take multiple wrong steps despite knowing that it is wrong to do so. We do drugs, sleep around, screw people over... and when we sit down and think it through, we know what we do is not right, and maybe inhumane.


Inhumane.


What is humantiy then? What is it to be human? To do the right things? By the above situation, isn't being humane to do something right, something not cruel to a fellow human being?

But yet faced with the exact same scenario as to why we do the wrong things we do despite knowing it's wrong, some answer, it's just human nature.


Human nature.

What is that? Isn't being human a part of being human nature? Everyone's nature? And if it isn't a generic form of nature then why call it HUMAN nature. So is being inhumane then a part of human nature?





I'm torn between what I should do and what needs to be done. I really don't know. And suddenly what X once said about love enters my mind. When do you know you love a person? When you are willing to sacrifice yourself for this person and love this person more than yourself (or something like tt). I guess when you find yourself loving someone else more than yourself and are willing to give your all for this person, only then you know you truly loved that person.

I don't think I can ever do that.

I was aware of that. And as time went by, I thought I could. I thot Y changed a bit of that and showed me that I could love as such. But 3 years later, that hasn't changed. And I'm not sure if it will ever. And somehow, until I'm ever sure, I don't think I should get into a relationship with anyone. I thought things could be casual but I never realised or thought far enough that someone would eventually get hurt. And now, someone did and I'm the cause of it.

Strangely, I thought it would take the emergence of a third party to throw a wrench and cause the end of things. Lest you see my dream as one, this time happened on its own. Maybe I'm wondering what the world out there is like. Maybe I'm holding back, wondering and hoping that someone else is out there for me. And with all this, maybe I shouldn't be with anyone then cause until I seriously know what i want, it's just one victim after another.