I'm tellin you, I'm no longer getting stuff from costronix man. My ext hdd died, AGAIN!!! for the 3rd time. It's so so so bloody dumb. Now I know wad my mom means when she said that she believes in paying for quality. Cos I was lamenting how unneccesay it is to buy a nautica berms for me to use for prodcution and buy any cheapo brand can liao. She maintians she believes in paying for quality. I'm like whatever lah. And after a 3rd reminder of how my cheaponess has caused me quite a bit of trouble. For the 3rd time my hdd died. Kns. So damn pissed man. Sheesh... Now I'm not so worried about my info being lost but more on the journey to take to sim lim.. Sheesh... Dumb Dumb dumb...

Anyway, the A saga continues. In a somehow unsurprising yet disappointing move, after realising tt it's our ann (after constant insistence of wed dinner and her suspecting something is up) she said that dinner is sort iffy cos well, the impression i got anyway was, she already agreed to the other guy first. Now I'm like wtf (yeah yeah, 5 fingers together at the finger tips). Talk about plan backfire. I had hoped that upon finding out or remmebering it was our anniversary, she would cancel on him. Knn, tell me this kinda shit. As I told YL today, she's A's doing a YL.

Cos towards the end of our r/s, I harped on the times when I had less talk time to her because she already exhausted her talk time limit (ie either cos can't talk too long cos of mom or other reasons) with the other dude. That just spelt a shift in priority and attention and espeically when another party is invovled, it usually isn't good. That's what I think anyway. I hope A remembers my conditions regarding all this. I had told her before. Talkin or cathcing up wif friends, guys or girls is fine. So long as it doesn't consist of putting me on the line or rather, at my expense. But clearly, this time round I definitely got priority and it's not so much cos I demand but oso cos it's a special occasion, of some sort anyway, and has more import.

Sadly I can't really tell her so much on how I feel cos it really needs to be realised by herself. Cos if I did tell her, it's purely cos I wasn't happy and it's to appease me and it's due to my viewpoint. It's harder for her to accept. If the event's over, and when i tell her, it seems more of a case study and me tellin her would be more, well, unconditional to a certain extent. I sometimes fear tt some who read my blog who has access to her might warn her of the stuff that some thinks she might or be better to know. But I'm also thankful that the people who read this blog is well trusted not to do anything so stupid as that. In the past, I really fear a slight leak but i think I underestimated the credibility and it's really silly of me to do that.

But anyway, I am disappointed with the whole outcome of things and granted, things don't really mean anything cos it's probably cos she's not really thinkin things through and proper. A slight benefit of a doubt. very very slight. Anyway, now, sucky thing is, her being sick today has just thrown the whole momentum of things altogether. I half expected her to have a remedy for her boo boo from yesterday but her being sick has overshadowed everything. I had proposed for her to swing by my place in the night to crash til the followin day then we can finish up the dvds we rented. But this morning, she asked to cancel tt plan. Asked why, she said she was sick, like underweather. So i'm, ok, well, it does get shitty doesn't it. I got my suspicions but hey, she did say she was slightly unwell since the weekends so it's passable. Just thot the timing conveninet. Thot she trying to run away from confrontations. But anyway. I'm guessin tomorrow's dinner is not gonna happen. I'll probably pop by her place after runnin a few errands. But i'll be damn if she goes for the movie tomorrow. I'll be fuckin pissed man. Well, not mad or pissed but unhappy.

Now, you guys know unless it's for a good reason, I seldom get pissed. I might grumble.. but that's a different thing from being pissed or unhappy. So if the movie goes on as planned, she can kiss her holidays with me goodbye (not tt it's all tt much sought after seein she's got an available subsitute ). Sometimes wonder if I'm too trusting. She mentioned tt I really don't mind the movie? Asked if it isn't like inviting someone into your garden/house? I'm like thinkin, yeah, but well, dun mean my flower will leave.

-----

On a side note, i sometirmes wonder what is the purpose of me writing all this. It's def a quite selfish one cso it's really to lemme blow steam. i wanna say to update friends on my life but who's to say mine is something others wanna keep track. I def can't say tt. So i guess my consolation is that hopefully, friends who do read it will see a lesson to be learnt, be it a mistake I've made or something good I've done. It's a maybe. Who really knows. All i know, I just wanna let it all flow... My thoughts tt is. Helps me to think.

Alright, moving on liao. I need a nap. Sleepy. Nighty