Does anyone ever feel tt sometimes, we know better but we still go ahead with things anyway. I swear, I dunno why I keep watching grey's knowing full well i'm gonna be all emotional and start thinking about things.. So here's a lil warning.. i'm gonna be rambling and there's nothing much important here so read on if you got nothing better to do.


You know, all in all, end of the day, as much as I try to be something exciting.. I think I know who I am truly inside. I'm the person who's romantic. I'm the person who's deeply inside still hoping for a dream to happen. I'm a person who's hoping one day.. some day, despite all the failings, I'd one day find someone I could and would truly love and it would be similarly returned. I dunno wanna only love someone, i want someone to love me back. I don't want unconditional love, I want mutual love.

I'm tired of being infatuated with somone... I'm tired of not having anyone to share... End of the day, I'm tired of being invisible.. being alone. As much as I wanna think it's not the case, I do think that at the end of the day, i really do feel alone.

I don't so much miss home all that much but more on the people. I miss my friends. I miss having people I can trust to be there... People who mean what they say. I miss having people who would stand by me. I miss knowing that people would do the same for me when I put myself out there for them.

I'm chatting with Y right now and I wish I could tell her that I missed someone to hold and on that but somehow, I think tt's unadvisable and might rake up old things. We don't want that to happen of course. Not gonna help in her moving on I think. I dont wanan give her hope. One has to not look back and look forward if they want to move on.

I miss having someone to run to when i'm alone. But I guess, like in the show B.uffy. What do I have, no friends, no weapons.. .. what am I left with? ME!!

So I guess I will pull myself up at the end of the day cos no one is sure as hell gonna to. And I ain't gonna allow anyone to see me down. It's too much of a vicious world out there.

Anyway, Ranted somewhat enough... I'll go shower and get to work. Thanks for reading if you did.. Life goes on.