Ever so often in life, we think back about a past and we wished we did things differently. A reminded me of that when she was recounting about this other guy and she mentioned that she just wanted closure. Honestly, I'm like thinkin whether she still likes this guy or not. But that's besides the point. I'm tempted to help her get his number with the naitivity that it's for her closure yet the realistic, non-idealistic part of me thinks that it's silly and what if she still likes him then what. But I've always pushed my relationship to the limits for the dumbest reasons of testing it for it's tenacity. Not on purpose tho, just when the opportunity arrives. I seldom interfere with what comes and let things run its course. My personal belief is that if it really takes me to interfere, to say or do something to make a change, then it's not really for the keeping. However, some things in the relationship, I wished were different and if a better option did come along tt corrected that flaw, I might just go. Then the question is, why can't i accept it just as she did. I dunno, but it's just a thought anyway. Sometimes, breakin up is much tougher than being together I guess.

Anyway, as I was sayin about doing things differntly. When she mentioned closure, I thought back to the times about this gal during my sec school years (goodness, has it been so long already? We're getting old). Let's call her M. Anyway, this gal had approached me when I was visting one of my parents' friends. She came up to me while I was in-between playin with the dog and attemptin to study for chinese. She asked if I remembered her. She said her name and I drew a blank look. I simply didn't know who she was. Disappointed, she said it's ok and walked away. I only remembered when we were walking to the car and I remembered her as the gal I went Malacca with during my primary school days, along with my parents and their friends. I felt so silly. And bad at the same time for i'm sure it took a lot of courage for her to come up to meet after so many years, take a risk and ask. I somehow wanna make it up to her. Cos it's not like we were strangers but it's not like we were good friends either, cept for the trip. It's just that, it felt like I did something wrong. I could just disappear and probably wouldn't ever know. But maybe it's just life's curiosity to know what happened since that faithful day. Just as A wondered what happened then. It's not neccasarily an attraction thing but a need to know. And I guess it's the same here. I just hope she hasn't shifted. I'll never forget her name. How she knew it was me is a mystery cos I'm very sure if I did see her again, I won't be able to remember her. A call is in order to my parents' friends. Soon. After the whole studies thing is settled.

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On another note. It's quite interesting how sometimes, someone does something lil, a small gesture, quirk or remark, strikes a chord in you. During the shoot on sat, one of the contestants were lying down and sorta waiting for us to get ready and she suddenly went, "lalalala" just so not to feel awkward or a subconcious thing and it somewhat got to me. not cos it was silly or what, but because it was a familiarity. I do that at times in awkward moments. Just that split second I thought, omg, I could marry this person. Of course, reality set in, and I thought, wtf. Guess logic told me kinda silly just cos of that one gesture. Tho after watching friends yesterday about monica and her soul mate, it made me think, gee.. is this my other half? Then I think about the fact of having two of me, now that's a sacry thought. Incidentally, she ain't all that bad looking tho I think she can't walk for nuts. But she was alright. Wasn't too short too and well proportionate as in, quite lanky but not sure of the boobs bit tho. Yah, think thsat was it. Anyway, didn't do nothing for simply because I was busy working and couldn't and shouldn't hong the bu, and secondly, I'm attached :>

Alrighty, enuff posts for the day. Ciao u lots.