I'm tired and I'm pissed. And i don't really feel like letting it out on anyone somehow. I feel like I should talk to someone about it but yet, I feel kinda frustrated to actually tell anyone about it. Everything's just all so inside somehow. And it's all for a stupid stupid reason. I fucking hate HATE crushes (ironically, I probably said I loved em at one point in time... having crushes that is)

So I'm pretty certain that I'm gonna drop Korean girl. It's just too nerve wrecking and frustrating for me. Causing me way too much grief than it should and it's probably all me really. But somehow, my only solution is really to just drop it and fuck it. Serioulsy.

Scenario.

Cafeteria, i was about to order food n then i saw her too. Wanted to say hi but didn't know how to. So I just thought I'd order something that would take a lil longer since she looked like she was waiting for hers. So i stood beside waiting for ehr to look up and for like 3 mins, all she did was text on her phone and make a call or 2. Afterwhich, she left. I felt like such an idiot!!! Then, when i went back to my seat, she was sitting there talking to my friend. So i pulled another chair and sat beside her but she stood up and was about to leave or something.. She came back later and continued talking to my friend and what pissed me off is them talking in Korean. I mean, nothing against the language or people but FUCK!!! I can't understand squat. And it's really pissing me off each time they do that but i can't do anything about it cos it's understandably easier for my friend to speak in korean really and I don't want him to change anything cos of me either. So here I am, having all this rage and angst but no one to really blame for cept myself for sorta putting so much of myself in it somehow. I was expecting WAY... too much... I've been way WAY too infatuated with her. It's getting stupid. I'm moving on.. I'm letting go.