It's funny how fate has a way of making decisions for you sometimes. Sometimes anyway.

Just when I was toying with the idea of whether should Y be the person and whether everything, all this hope of a better is all in vain. She managed to decide everything for me.

She just msged me within the hour.

I mean, I always wondered if she really does still miss me. I know I do, miss her that is. I miss the times we spent together and I wished that that day never happened. I wonder if we could just stay together for the remainin of my time in SG. But I also knew that would be selfish of me, even if she ever agreed.

And in someway, she decided for me cos she kinda gave me the vibe that tho she's reminiscing, it's becoming too difficult and really, it's time to let go. Somehow, given this info, kinda makes it hard for me to jump back into her life cos it's not easy for one to decide to move onwards. And if she's doing so, I think I should just walk away now.

Sigh, I know it's all nostalgia but I really miss having her in my life. And with all the bad things she give, maybe it's all a price for having someone who also loves you so. Or maybe it's stupidity, like Fat Boy wonders. Who knows.

I miss our scrabble days.. I miss out chomp chomp times and dvd times. I miss us fallin asleep. I think I just miss our weekends together. It's funny how I never thought much about it and dread needing to tell her how I can't spend a weekend with her and lament that she doesn't understand. Oh how I wish we could have it all. Just the simple waking up and seeing her beside me. Just to see her sleeping soundly(tho sometimes, looking troubled :S) Funny how we humans are to not cherish what we had till when it's gone. You'd think with all the sayings and all, we'd learn to appreciate what we got.

Funny creatures we are. We don't learn.