I'm now a complete bummer. I mope around at home the whole day, (strange considering I got 2 deadlines next week) and just stay online the whole damn day. but but, dun worries. It's just cos I've been sick for the past two days since wednesday. Stil sick. Sianz. Wanna go out oso cannot. Sigh.

Anyway, in my journey of reading blogs, chanced upon this phrase quoted from a friend of mine.

"Because one line that Natalie Portman said is so true, "There has to be a moment, when u start to fall in love with someone. And that moment can be stopped." It's like reaching a T-junction, where u can go straight and fall in love, or not, by going the other 2 ways. These things can be controlled. And they dont happen overnight. So when u know that there's a likely chance u'll be falling in love with e person you're not supposed to, distance yourself and stop! right?"

Funny it's something so blatently duh but yet, some people can excuse themselves by saying, it just happened. I believe that people only fall in love when they are lookin for love. It just doesn't fall into your lap like tt and you go, 'oh, wadya know, i'm in love'. Only when you heart is open to it, then will you see what's in front of you. That said, I probably open my heart too wide like a whore that at times, even if it's not, I somehow think it must be love or something along those lines.

Tho I sometimes wonder, dun you people think that love is overrated. That when there is an unexplainable feeling or unexplainable act, you justify it as.... love. So truly wad is love. Some may say, love is when you are willing to give up yourself for this person. (i know of some who are willing to do so even if they aren't in love but maybe this person is showing his love through his own way.) Love is when you are willing to go to the ends of the earth and do what it takes to make this person happy without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love you call it. Hog wash I say. It's never realistic. We are practical always and never unexpecting of returns. Some may demand that, hey, i've been nice to this guy, the least he could do is reciprocrate. Or, even expecting appreciation is a form of expecting somethign in return as it is. I'm guilty of that. All i require is a simple thank you most of the time and jus make me happy in return. Even not makin me 'gek' is some form of return for me.

But truly, who really has the answer what love is. Someone you can foresee living the rest of your life with? Is that love? Or is tt companionship? I can foresee living the rest of my life with friends. But i guess tt's a whole different kinda love. So wad is the love we so seek in girls then? Physical, sexual love? I think they call tt lust. With friends and family, it's something somewhat along the lines of sisterly or brotherly love, or even wif my circle, brotherly love. It's nothing romantic.

There isn't a wife love, or a husband wife love. It's always a husband wife bond. And before that when the 2 are courting, is it called love then? Cos I can't think of a term for it. Or are these 2 people just 2 friends going out frequently and fucking and tt's just it.

Sigh, the complexities of life... ain't it bewildering and exciting?

I wanna go clubbin tomorrow (more drinkin than dancing tho) but i'm not sure whether my throat will be ok tomorrow :( sigh... so shitty. Wanna go out oso cannot. Stuck at home, mopping not by choice. Sheesh...

Well, I welcome visits by anyone tho I'm not so sure wtf I'm gonna do wif you all. Anywya, it's not like I'm dyin here so visit would be somewhat dumb.

I prob should sleep and rest. Take care people, hang in there, the week's comin to an end and the weekend's around the corner... whoo hoo... boo hoo... sick :(