Update on the love interest somewhat..

So all this time, I've been pretty awestruck by this european chick and we've been hanging out quite a bit though i do believe it's just cause she doesn't quite know anyone else seeing it's her 1st terma dn she's not much of a socialising type. So a lot of this is kinda.. well.. i duno, i fele she doesn't feel the same and what we have is really a friendship. We tease each other alot and make fun of one another. Brutally sacarstic to each other. And it almost sounds like we got something here right? but i dunno, i don't quite think she feels the same for me.. BUT.... i'll never know till I actually tell her my side of things. And only then will i know for sure. I jsut haven't been able to find the right way or time to actually have a talk with her about things.

So far, what i"ve done, doesn't go beyond what a normal friend would normally. And i think it might add to the confusion on her part when i go about sayingh I don't a r/s right now and what nots. And it's confusing on my part cos sometimes, I feel like there's a connection and other times, I feel like there's a void. And I've kinda given myself some time to absorb this whole thing between me and her. We've known each for around 2 months now. And I told myself, ok, let's see how long this 'crush' is gonna last cos knowing me, I move on to a new target pretty fast right?

And liking her and pursuing her is going to be an interesting dynamics simply because, she doesn't fit the whole Y - last chick I dated for 3 yrs. LIke for Y, it was somewhat more natural for me cos I was able to provide what she wanted. Which is safety and security. And with this European chick, she's independant, tough and randomly adorable and cute all in one. And the reason I really like hanging out with her is i learn so much from her. And I would say i love listening to her (but i feel tt's kinda a given when you're into a person).

A big part of me fears that I mght lose this friendship cos it's something I really cherish. It's not that last scenario with the kid.. I dind't really have the time to evaluate if she was a friendship i wanted to keep. It just went there. So yeah, this Euro chick is kinda an interesting dynamics cos it's the type I would never dare pursue cos i got nothing to bring to the table and I don't feel like i would fit in simply cos there isn't a need for me. But never know till you try right? I think the last such person was really YL, first gf. She was somewhat independant but yet, she let me into her life.

Anyway, we'll see how things goes in the next few weeks.