Random thought again,. Have you ever had a moment like this where you were checking a person out and at that same moment, the person looks back at you and there's this brief moment of awkwardness. Well, I was at the supermarket and i was humming to a song that was being played. Well, more like sinigng to myself and while i was walking around, i crossed this person and she was sinigng too and there was this slight pause of embrassment i believe from both of us. BUt yeah.

I've been working really hard for these 2 classes. Stock and loc light. And today the instructor had mentioned for me not to worry and that i was working really hard. And I"m well aware of that really. I don't think I"m working expcetionally hard just that i feel everyone else slacks off anyway and I'm simply taking the extra effort as compared to everyone else. Unfortunately, I don't think my work's neccesarily that wow. And I do believe that I've always known that I'll never be the brightest spark or the most creative person so I kinda make up for it with a brute force of hard work and even then, I'm well aware that it's not my best simply because I'm doing so many other things that isn't work and if it's my best, then it'd be 24/7 wokring on that one piece. I think only then, will I feel like I'm putting my all in something I create.

I'm aware of what my strong points are. Producing, organising and technical stuff. But creatively and conceptually, I'm so darn weak there. And usually, the concepts I have in mind, just simply doesn't translate to the final product and I'm somewhat bummed about that. But then, I dream to myself that maybe i'm just a genius that no one gets just quite yet... :p

It's funny really. When I was growing up, I once dreamt of being a comic artist (and owning a comic store no less). When I was young, I told myself I would never restrict myself to an office bound job cos I simply didn't want to end up like my dad. Hated what he needed to do (of which I realise now that it's all about making businesses but understanding it doesn't mean I hate him any less anyway). So no job that requires me to wear a shirt everyday. Oddly enough, I love wearing a shirt once in a while to feel good. (I know you business people must be like.. rigth.. we wear it everyday, oso don't feel any better). Then I discovered AVA whcih eventually lead me to film making and now photography. And now, I'm trying to steer my work towards the fantasy realm. Like bringing to life the stories of manga, animation and movies. And i'm slowly introducing elements of comics and animation into my photos. Possibly even the look. And as I sit back and look at my life in general. It's interesting how everything's kinda come full circle and ended up supporting one thing or another. That now, I'm doing what I wanted to and set out to do in the first place. To create that world and put it on a page.. a piece of paper. And hopefully, i would be able to set out to do what I had intended to when I was making movies. To be able to change a person's life in that one moment and influence it to be better... TO have that connection.

That's what I want...