Hey everyone..

I apologise for the not too frequent updates. I'm not sure how my time is passing but it sure is passing fast and before i know it. schools' starting next week. 4 weeks of term break just whizzed past just like that. I had set out to do a lot of things over the break but i kinda got sidetracked by the PS2 :s for the first half. And the second half was. erm.. i don't really know actually. Hanging out with friends here and there i guess.

So what's progress on my side? Well, a close friend of mine has been giving me one dilema after another. Not her fault btw, just how things happened and all. And because of an incident, I find myself starting to see her in a different way. I mean, I did slightly in the past but I dind't really follow up on it and also, it was also mainly because she was SOooo.. helpful. 2 days back, I was battling with the dilema if i should tell her about what I MIGHT be feeling. I wasn't really sure. My dilema was mainly caused by the fear that it might ruin our friendship. We're really close. I know I can rely on her if shit ever hits the fan and I do hope she does of me too. Obviously I can't speak for her but I do hope so.

I started thinking, if 2 people could trust each other so much. Don't mind each other's company, then what is it that sets close friends apart besides holding hands, hugging and sex (i do know of people who do that and are only friends btw, so it seems my sentence is kinda redundant doesn't it?) but yeah... I mean, sure i can keep friends and be close to them and not feel the need to bonk them (contrary to what some believe). I asked her for her view on this (w/o putting myself into context of course) and she said intimacy. No idea what the devil that meant. Because end of the day, all i wanna do is just give her hug when I feel like and just squeeze her.

But then, if you asked me, i do think that maybe, the one thing tt sets both apart is spark. But you see, the spark will only be there during the initial stages. And what happens is you start to grow comfortable with each other and end up being partners.

I think we both fear the change in status would affect our friendship a great deal. Cause somehow, you won't say the same things to your other half as you would to your friends. It almost feels that with your friend, you have a somewhat more intimate relationship. You're able to tell your friends about your crushes, or that they're dissing you off and stuff like that. With friends, things are more flexible. I dunno, somehow with her, i would hope to have a really funky dating thing. Where we still tell each other about our crushes and stuff and the things that friends talk about. But granted, this might be too weird an arrangement. So yeah, let's leave things as that.

The good thing is at least I didn't come across too strong or anything like that. And things aren't awkward when we're out with each other. Things are pretty much stil the same. And i made it really casual or flexible.

If you were to ask em how I'd describe our friendship/r/s? Or how I feel towards her? I wouldn't say love like r/s love love that sorta thing. It's more of a lil sister kinda love. It's the only way I can describe it. She's someone I woudln't wanna see hurt. Someone i wanna cherish and protect. Which is what really threw me off cos i became confused what then, really makes 2 people hook up then?

Granted, I'm well aware that there's nothing much I cna really do about things either. I can't force her to think otherwise and sometimes, if you can't see this person in a certain way, then you really can't. And I somewhat can understand that. I don't wanna try to do anything about it either cause I still wanna keep my friendship the way it is than risk jeopardising it. And if she says she doesn't see me in that way, I don't wanna force things, I could do a million n one things to court her but somehow, i think if i started that, it'd really make things really awkward. I hope it doesn't end up to be like a friend's situation where the friendship went through shit loads of dips and highs but somehow, seemingly, not anywhere.

I guess the good thing is I try to move on fast.. which interesrtingly enuff, is very much the culture here. Waiting for someone for a year or two, in hope that they'd eventually like you is foreign here, as i found out. And apparantly, it's all about looking after yourself. Interesting.

The next batch of students have arrived. Pretty interesting. ALways good to see fresh faces. I'm quite invovled in the intl student side of things. Meeting some of the new people. It's always interesting to get to know about the rest of the world whihc we are very oblivious to somehow. So far, the interesting people to talk to are from Isreal, Ivory Coast (try fidning it on the map :p ). There's also germany and france as well as italians. Can't wait for soccer next week. The japs are generally quite good. LEast those that play anyway.

And interesting to hear tt armies in other parts of the world face the same shit we do in camp as well, it's hilarious. Like people falling in in boxers and webbing.. it's hilarious.. :p oh man...

I'm partly pissed with A right now for seeing i sound sore when I was asking her about her r/s with her current dude. KNN... all this time, I haven't told her much about what's happening. Here, I dunno why. Downplaying most good things. I think i should start braggin to her about the good stuff. Which i did anyway. Told her about disneyland... which I know she would really like anyway... Bleah...

maybe i shoudl start mentioning about having friends with benefits as well. Suddenly, I ain't tt hot over having her over sometime this year. Fucking hell. Sore.. you bet i'm sore. I'm sore right now over her saying i'm sore. Knn... Sore indeed.. grrr....

Anyhoo, you guys should have seen the photos up right now. I know blackburn had asked me about the URL the last time round. Sorry, I was sleeping i think. I'll put it up in the yahoo groups so those who worry about needing to bookmark it on their office computers don't have to worry that much.

My car's giving me issues. So far, i think i've spent close to 2K to get it up to shape. Had to change the battery. Starter as well. And now, my sun roof. Advice: Always repair things as soon as they're spoilt. I think ic ould've avoided the sunroof repairs if i had attended to the problem earlier.

Funny thing is, i was suppose to go with the girl i mentioned above to somewhere to check out the city lights as well as the night sky. BUT... alas, she had some problems she needed to attend to. Well, good thing is, I spilled my guts out to her that night anyway..AND.. i didn't have to pay for dinner which I had originally planned :p Ah wells, works out after all. AND.. i can keep up my partly flirty lifestyle and have crushes and not feel bad about it.. :D

All tt's lacking is a physcial body in ebd during the bloody cold nights. The temp's dropping to close to 0 during the lows. Outdoors anyway.. :p

FESTIVE SEASON.
I spent my xmas over at a friend's place for dinner... tt's about it. And for nye... i went to 2 different 'parties'. One of em was kinda blah.. while the other was.. interesting, to say the least. And i only had ONE fucking drink cos i was the fucking driver. I wonder why I was anyway seeing i'm the only person who sorta really drinks. THe peeps I hang around with don't drink that much if at all. And if they drink, it's mianly girly drinks like smirnoff alcoholic soda.. geez... it's not fun at all. Next time, they're driving.. Sheesh...

I also got free tix to disneyland. My first time in disneyland. Weird huh? it was never really my dream anyway. But since it was free, no harm in going for the experience. Went iwth my close friend n it was somewhat fun i guess. But i woudln't go crazy over the place. Love the elavator ride they had tho. THAT was amazing...

think tt's mianly it i guesss. THe rest, you kinda can gather from the photos. Enjoy.. ;)