New entry on my other site.. not the mor popular one, the quote one.. so do check it out if you're interested.

watching too many episodes of grey's anatomy in one shot is rather bad for emotional health. I didn't really how depressive it really was. Least it made ME feel depressive so that's not good.

But yeah, and also sorta makes me wish to be in a relationship again. WHICH i feel is NOT a good idea. Contrary to what I was telling schizo earlier today :p Tho seriously, i do wonder, r the people here really THAT heated up for sex? Well, let's not assume that. But from the televsion, they sure have very strange or different protocals. like if a girl gives you her number, youre supposed to call or something. That was new to me. If that happened, i might hold back cos I dun wanna come off needy and all. So yeah.

But alas, what i want and what I should do isn't always similar, unfortunately. Sometimes, I seriously think it'd do people so much a better favour if I don't get involved. I dunno, seems easier doesn't it? Than sorting out my act and really knowing what I want. but someone did say I DO know what I want, it's just that what I want isn't around or available to me. So who knows, maybe when i Do find the right person, marriage won't seem like such a terrible thing. And I GOT to stop being too nice to some people. Draw the line or something. Cos I do think I step past the lines or normal friendship sometimes but yet, keep a distance. So i dunno. i do know the sort of girl I want, just that this person hasn't come yet. And it's always that question, do u wait or go for the best choice you have at the moment and if so, when do you decide NOW is the time to decide tt this girl is the best so far and that you should stick to that.

A firend was having the sorta same problem with me. Or maybe not. 3 years down the r/s, he/she asked me if it was weird tt after so long, you don't feel like marriage with this person is the thing for ya. I dunno really. I guess the r/s is safe but yeah, then what. It's weird, sometimes when it gets too stable, we start wondering, is the r/s gonna be so stagnant? but we can't expect a relationship to be a roller coaster ride all the time can we? The dust would settle down eventually and you're forced to look at each other for just simply, what they really are. And maybe, when the dust finally DID settle, Y just wasnt for me. But then again, I did know from the beginining didn't I? I jsut wasn't big enuff to stop it tho in my defence, I did wanna try. But i guess the stakes were too high when I needed to leave. i dunno. But well, what's done is done. She's prob moved on with the new guy. Maybe not the best method to do so but maybe we just need that. That THING to push us forward.

I wonder what it is we fall in love with. The person or the notion of love. it's been broached in my relationship before and I find myself wondering that again. How can someone fall so fast so soon again? Is it cos it's easier cos you're sorta given a candy so the wounds aren't as painful? Is that a lesser method? Prob not the best cos your issues aren't really worked out. AND, well, the mere mention of this THING you ran from? It sorta just makes you uncomfortable cos you never really learnt to dealt with it. you just ran and hid behind the candy which was dangling from ya.

I do think I'm over Y. But I ain't over the reason and how things ended up. Sure I do reminisce. I do have a right I guess. It was afterall, 3 years of my life. but yeah, I don't think we should be together now. I can't say for sure 5 years down the road tho currently, I can't imagine anything happenin even then. So yeah. I do feel sentimental about it, and I do miss the times we shared. but i think tt's all to it and all tt can be to it.

I got to go. need to make net times short to be more productive.

Anyway, if you guys need my contact number, u can get it through Fatboy. Peace out bros..