I had a sudden revelation. Well, mayb it ain't that sudden seeing what I was yapping about A anyway. Interestingly, jos had posted me the question as to what my reation would be like. And somehow, I didn't seem all that bothered. But yet, when the reality might seem closer than I had thought, I might not be all that cool about it afterall. I guess it's more of the reason behind things.

I udnno whad am i talking about.

Am I preempting things too much? I sometimes wonder if I didn't jump the gun with YL, would we still be together. And will i be letting history repeat itself if i did the same wif A. Guess better me start it than her initiating right? I really don't know. But as I told jos, I should be happy for her right? Guess it's never nice, a break up. Maybe I'm just looking too much into things again.

I really wish I could be how I was. I don't know. Just got a horrid gut feeling at the end of all this. Didnt' help that she didn't update me till only when she reached home today. but I guess I gotta remember that she did mention she doesn't dare to lie for fear I'd eventually find out. Guess that might be true. Just feel that she's somehow more distanced. I also ain't sure what made her finally agree to seeing the dude. I'll never know...

Sigh, I feel idiotic. Nvm.. i'll just be moody alone...