It's not said. It's not official. But somehow it feels like it's over. The same could be the about the other incidences I guess. But I guess it's different this time round. In the past, I told myself there are things to despite or to hate about another. But what makes this person worthy of companionship is a simple weighing of pros and cons. In a relationship rather, the love and the hate.Relaionship is sustained through the simple tip of the scale to the love side. But right now... it's largely tipped to the other cos all I have now is hurt, hatred and rage (which is diminsihing). I once promised her tha unless a reason, I wouldn't leave her. And somehow, this whole incident is reason enough. It wasn't even anything out of the ordinary. Typical her storming away, being angry. The diff this time round is me I guess. I suddenly felt enraged by her attitude. By how she snubbed me. By how she treated me just cos. I hated it even more that she switches it around to make it seem like I'm the childish one for not letting go after the incident is over. I angered over the fact that pulled a reversal to make me the problem. Worse off, to 'jest the wounds that hurt'. It was a simple incident that blew out of proportion simply because I had enough.

The funny thing was, country to some belief that things sometimes go awry because of a third party, there wasn't any. No one on my mind. All I wanted was to be alone. I had no desire to meet or call anyone at all. Simply put, I guess she pushed me at a time when I just didn't feel like being pushed. And situation just worsened after.

I said that a relationship is dead when there isn't any feeling. When you see the reason to leave to be stronger than the reason to stay. Somehow, I can't look beyond what has happened. Angry over the reversal and the lack of effort to even try to salvage or accept some responsiblity and choosing to be above everything. FUUUCCKKK.... fuck for everythiing I've ever been through. Fuck for everything I've ever endured. Fuck for being so forgiving in the past. Fuck for everything... FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!



The hole's opened, the wounds exposed.
The bloods trickle as the thorns prick.
The flesh is fresh and raw.
But yet the pain's not there.
It's deeper within.
Felt but not seen.

But weakness lasts only for so long.
And before long, strength returns.
Stronger before, a paradox indeed.
A whole new planted seed.
Replanted.
Reborn.