I sit here alone in my room
I wonder to myself.
Why life sometimes is so difficult.
Why are some decisions so tough to make.
And why is it always the larger ones.
The ones that make the biggest change in life.

I question my heart what is worth more.
And what my dreams really are.
And how much are they worth.
Will it be like in the movies?
Where the guy gives up his love,
to pursue his passion of a dream.
Or am I the guy who gives up his passion
to stay make certain of his love.

But it doesn't matter which I am
Cos I'm pretty sure I'd regret.
Which ever decision I might take.

Is nothing forever.
That we should find something.
we should gain something.
Only to lose it once again.

Stay and somehow, I'll feel resentment.
Leave and I'll feel regret and sadness.
That I might be leavin a part of me behind.
Stay and I feel I'm losing something.
Something I could have had but never got.
A dream closer but yet far.

All through the years, I tried.
Tried to make this transition easier.
Easier for her, eventually for me.
I tried to give her self support.
I tried to make her grow.
But as much I tried,
I failed as much.

She gives me pessimism when I try,
to search for a hope.
Without realising it dampens my sight.
Causes me to lose the drive to prove her wrong.
For no matter what I can try to do,
it might never matter for it's set,
in her eyes, I'm no more than just a guy.

So when I do leave, she expects I'd find someone there.
With that thought, I'd think no better of her.
And with this thought, is there anything to motivate me?
Is there any reason really for me to stay true?
Knowing that I have nothing but discouragements.

I'm at a lost. We both can find another.
That's a certainty. So why reason to push.
Push each other from each other.
When we should be pulling towards each other.
Are humans so silly that we spend energy
to create problems when we should spent it,
tryin to solve problems instead?

We are such fools.
Confused, condamned and contradictory.