CHANGES

Someone had told me that I had changed. Do you guys ever wonder that? If you have changed that is.

When we were younger, we used to tell each other that we'd be friends forever. I'll love you forever. We'll NEVER be apart. Stuff like these. But as we grow up, through experiences, we learn that words are just words. When we said those things, we never did consider about the changes that would happen in our lives, how we changed to them and how it affects, a relation.

I remember how I used to be when I was younger. I doubt I'd ever forget. And I am rather sure I'm very much more different now than I was before. The question is, is it for the better?

I used to be believeable. Not in the whole, everyone believes in me but rather the opposite. I believed in many a things. I believed in doing the right things. I believed in forever. I believed in sincerity and honesty. And interestingly enough, someone was 'preaching' to me about it at a wake today. How family shouldn't be too carniving (spelling?) and should be honest with each other and not be calculative. And we should be generous.

It's funny. I don't think I'm more generous now than I was before, despite having more power to do so. And somehow, my mom played a very big role tho it prob was something small and trivial.

In the past, I used to be very close with these 2-3 friends. We were a clique. And come ever birthday, I'd always be gettin them something. I'm not sure how it came up but during one of the conversations between my mom and I, she said 'Why you stupid'. And the rest went along the lines of how I was giving people but people weren't returning, or something to that extent anyway. And ironically enough, my mom's one of the more generous people around. The ones that went around doing stuff for people such tt she got taken advantage of. But somehow, that comment stuck cos I felt silly for being nice. And one of the first few lessons I learnt that people truly didn't mean what they said? Well, one of the friends had mentioned tt he had my present at home and would eventually pass it to me. But I never saw it.

Now don't get me wrong. I wasn't sore or anything. And I sure as hell don't hate him for it now. But I felt cheated by that experience. Not so much by him but more like the incident and how life was.

We all change. We grow up, adapt to the harsher bit of life. And somehow, as the wheels of time keep spinning, I become more and more thankful of the friends I have with me. And I know that these are people whom I can trust. Whom I know would never go behind my back. Who never manipulate to have things go their way. And I'm thankful time plays a part in showing these traits in a person. yeah, time changes people. And sometimes we get confused by the character we are at work, and the character we are in our personal lives. Like I said, I'm glad time shows that.

And maybe that's why as we grow older, the number of friends we have somehow seem to grow smaller and smaller. Cos through time, the characters of people show, we learn. And at the end of the day, what we have is hopefully friendships that would go on for eternity.

All the more reason I'm very much thankful for the friends I have now, whom have gone through thick and thin. Tho sometimes, not in the most personal sense but still made it a point to keep in contact. And the best part is there's no drama or bitchiness involved. Cept guiltily, maybe from me from time to time. But yeah, I'm glad. Cos tho we've changed through time, what remains is the friendship we have.

And I thank you guys for giving this to me. Cheers. Hopefully, we'll still be seeing each other 10 years down the road.