I've come to a realisation that's it's so easy for one to put up appearances of themselves. To create an imagery of oneself, especially to the ones closest to you cos you know what to show to give the imagery of what you want to portray. Sadness, happiness and what not. I've also come to realise that despite what people might say, I don't really have any true talent I can be proud of and can capitalise on. All I have is mediocre, minute and insignificant and would barely help me survive in what I desire to be. Tho some may have the impression that I am such, the comments are somhow aren't credible and not weighted.

So at the end of the day, what do have to show for all these months. Nothing really cept a real messy room and really, a whole load of memories which I can't use squat for. I dunno, I just felt like beating myself up.

In any case, A's stil sticking to her story and I might just blow it big. Yeah yeah, it's a see saw thing here. But aren't we all somehow destructive. I'm begining to think it's almost natural to everyone to be such. Be either self destructive or to those around us. We build and destroy things. Thus is the way of our society and nature. But hey, it's a balance ain't it not. Just like so many shows which emphasize that importance, one can't live without the other and if anything, I'm just creating a balance... Hmm... Right, like that's gonna justify any injustice that ever comes from sucha thot.

I'm gonna pack my room.