I'm starting to wonder r we a dysfunctional couple. Left things wrongly again. Sometimes, I think that I should just butt out of problem solving and leave her to it. Tho ending badly, we did have quite a fruitful and productive weekend finding out each other's side of the story and I did realise there were instances I was at fault for how I thought and also after, decided I had to change somethings or ways I thought of her.

FRIDAY (poor joseph)
Met up with Joseph. Got my Norton Security Suite, the educational version one. So much cheaper. Urge everyone to go buy cos it's donkies (donkys) cheaper. Like the XP Pro, normal 399 educational, 200. Shitloads cheaper. Of cos, I prob dun really need XP Pro since the Home edition is servin me pretty well so far unless there's something I'm missing out. Met jos at Heeren. I was late again. Went down to funan to check out the norton since PK at Heeren didn't have it. Walked around Funan. I tried my hand at PC games to quell my gaming urges. Of cos at the expense of Jos needing to linger around to look for stuff to do :p

Amy asked for mahjong so I did the necessary arrangements of getting Willie. Met up with Amy along wif Jos to go back to my place. However, upon meeting her, she asked if can go drinking instead. Well, I took it quite badly as I saw it as an inconsiderate thing to say after all the effort (not that there was a lot but it was STILL something) that was put into arranging the mahjong and I was pretty sure that when she opened her golden mouth to ask for it, she did not stop and consider how it would affect others. If it was just me, it was fine, but it wasn't and it involved my friends. Guess that's why I wasn't that happy with it. Hence the start of very long and tense moments. I contacted Willie to let him know of the changes. Guess I kinda knew that if the night was something else, he wouldn't really be that interested and morever, felt that like Pang Seh him like that. Like, "whoo hoo... got mahjong" then end up, "how come now end up drinking instead" Ah well, mayb i was thinkin it too far. So the suggestion or decision was made to go Toa Payoh to drink. Poor Joseph had to go through the whole tense moments in the MRT between me and amy and that must not have been nice :p

When at Toa Payoh, while Jos was away to get the drinks and cups, I talked things out with her. Told her that I felt somewhat in a lose lose situation during times like these when she asks me for something that is sometimes difficult to fulfil. It puts in a spot. If I say no, she'd think tt things never go her way and that it's pointless for her to suggest or decide things (it has happened before) and if I say yes, I put myself, friends and sometimes even her, on the line. And no, I ain't being too dramatic. Of cos, she didn't see things that big a deal since to her, it was just a harmless suggestion and I could've said no of which i told her she doesn't make it easy for me to. And each time I say this statement, she'd go something along the lines of "next time don't ask me for suggestions" that kinda extreme statements. It doesn't leave me alotta room. Of course, the "I don't feel like it" statement always irks me a whole lot cos I feel it doesn't give a person any closure as to the reason why one doesn't feel like it. I feel it allows the person to get away with a lot of things too easily.

Anyway, didn't really end well of which I have no idea what got her pissed off. So we ended the night like that. Met up with Joseph, got myself sleepy with one bottle of beer (go figure) but it was nice anyway. Slept for awhile, felt slightly sick (beer didn't go down right) then went for a spin and ended up wif BKT (Bak Kut Teh) at Balestier. And it back to a 2nd mashed potato from 7-11 at my place.

SATURDAY (Day of revelation)
Asked how I was and popped over after paying the tour agency. Started the day alright tho there were awkward moments and remnants of the prev evening's mood. Went to Serangoon Garden to eat. Tried to get her to try ordering but her "Didn't feel like" mood stepped in and we almost ended up eating instant noodles in spite I felt but to her, it wasn't. Go figure. We still settled for the teochew porridge which was the original intention anyway.

Went to my place the playground. Same couple who we think are makin out were there again so we went to the benches to talk. Talked for almost 2-3 hours on all the events that happened. It was nice debating about how to educate kids if we ever had kids. Of course, we spoke as if we were seperate entities.

Spoke about the whole deal of me needing to introduce her since her arguement is that I have been doing it, why not continue and my arguement is I never did have the habit and it's becos she once quesitoned why i didn't introduce her, only then, did I start doing it. Else, I couldn't really be bothered. Also, it seems to be a gal thing that all gfs wan the whole world to know that their bfs are attached so that all the vicious gals out there would leave the bfs alone. Talk about overprotective of your property.

One key thing was that I always had the impression that she was unable to take care of herself. And obviously that was wrong of me. All this time, I was so afraid she couldn't do so that I kept tryin to push her to. To her that was wrong but I had good intentions in my defence. Ultimately, I feel that she doesn't have enough opportunity to excel and shine. Tho her defence isn't so much of wanting to be in the lime light and wanting to stay low profile but I just feel that it's sorta not the way to go. anyway, just realised, I should be typing her sometimg. Least, I can get my point across. Ah well, another hour of typin stuff then. :p

Anyway, kinda lost the verve of writing this entry so gonna end it prematurely. Gonna write a letter to her.

Listening to DJ Tiesto. In the techno trance or wadeva u call it mood. :) Quite nice.

Tomorrow's the start of my last semester. Wonder how it'll go. Don't really wanna leave school. :( Ah well, the world awaits us.

Lucks to you all and enjoy your hols.

*PS: Willie, Hope you marathon went well... :)